I had the rare pleasure last week of leaving the increasingly chilly town of Columbus, Ohio and visiting Los Angeles for a spell. The pilot of my twice-cancelled flight into LAX informed us that the weather was sunny, with a temperature of approximately sixty degrees. To me, sixty degrees is shorts weather, so I was rather amazed to see people walking around L.A. wearing winter-weight suits and big Starter jackets. The previous driver of my rental car had turned up the heat full blast, and nearly everyone on the road had their windows rolled up.
I was so busy sneering at these comfort-addled Angelenos that
I almost forgot how I had been sneered at in my college days by
fellow students who hailed from Buffalo and other perpetually
chilly cities. These idiots would walk to class in twenty-degree
weather without a hat or gloves, and sometimes without a coat.
That's almost as dumb as wearing pants in sixty-degree weather
when you're not forced to by your employers. I'm so glad that
I have the right idea on this what-to-wear deal when everyone
else seems so deluded.
Anyway, in my infinite righteousness I have come up with the definitive
guide to BMX Outdoor Winter Wear. Since cold is a relative thing,
not every NBL member will be forced to bundle up from December
to March; nonetheless, some of us will. You south-of-the-equator
types are dismissed from today's lecture, and can return for the
January issue, which will feature me whining about what I didn't
get for Christmas. Here's a preview of that issue: I've asked
for a 1978 Rolls-Royce Silver Wraith II in Burgundy, with Tan
interior and contrasting piping on the seats. Also, I'd like a
nice lambswool jacket. It is highly unlikely that I will receive
either of those tastefully chosen gifts.
BMX winter wear has to accomplish two absolutely opposite goals.
It should keep you warm while you're just hanging around, as well
as keep you from overheating when you've been wallriding for thirty
minutes. We can't "layer" our outfits, because you can't
leave anything behind while street riding. You might never see
it again, for one thing. It would be cheesy, for another.
We'll start from the ground up. The biggest mistake I see riders
make is wearing winter boots in the winter. Get real. You can't
control your bike with big boots on. Here's the real solution:
Find a set of leather basketball shoes you can ride with. Avoid
shoes with cantilevered soles or any large cut-outs in the sole;
you need a flat area to grip the pedal. The original Air Jordan
and Big Nike shoes were fantastic winter BMX shoes. Lately, I've
found solace in the Air Ndestrukt, which is usually at somebody's
closeout sale somewhere. (Since writing this, I switched to
the Airwalk "Cube"---I bought six pairs. Not all Airwalksare
really made for BMX, so choose carefully--JB) Once you've
found your shoes, get some big socks. If you don't want to spend
big for big socks, wear two pairs of regular ones.
Any reasonably thick jeans will do fine for most winter duties.
If you can, make sure to minimize the bell-bottom factor on your
BMX jeans. Not only will you run a big risk of tying up your chain
in your pants, the wide legs on most trendy jeans will let cold
air in. I'd recommend long underwear if you have it. If you want
the ultimate in cold-weather pants and aren't afraid of your friends'
censure, you could go to the local roadie shop and buy cold-weather
road bike pants. These pants let you sweat a bit after getting
warmed up and won't let cold air in. The down side is that most
of them have big red or blue stripes, which is cool for roadies
but not so much so for us. Don't forget to wear road cycling shorts
if you have them. This is all-weather advice, by the way. True
cycling shorts are great to wear under your jeans during all seasons.
You could also wear compression shorts if you tend to pull hamstrings
while riding. Most traditional sports stores stock CPS or other
compression shorts. Ask for help when picking them out, because
when they fit they feel like they're not fitting. It's hard to
explain.
Don't forget to wear a belt to hold all of this up. Surplus store
often have military-style dress belts super-cheap. I have been
informed, by individuals who would presumably know, that belts
are not the coolest thing to wear right now. Still, you should
find one.
For north-of-the-belt wear, you have a very wide choice. I have
seen a lot of Ohio riders wear "gas-station attendant"
jackets over a flannel shirt and long underwear shirt. There's
no reason why this wouldn't work. I have traditionally worn a
long-sleeve T-shirt under a "squall" jacket. This makes
you look like a deranged individual who just got kicked out of
fraternity rush, but it works. Here's a story: Back in 1992, I
was bunnyhopping a 24" chain suspended between two poles.
Since it was February, I was wearing my trusty squall jacket.
I made the hop five times, increasing my speed each time. On try
number six, I was nearly at full spin when I hopped. Alas, I caught
my back wheel in the chain.
Luckily, there was a playground full of children right there to
watch me embarrass myself by slapping my chest on the ground at
twenty miles per hour. I slid nearly fifteen feet before coming
to a stop. My Wrist-Wraps were toast and my Perry Ellis jeans
had burned all the way through at the knees, but my Squall jacket
was undamaged. There was asphalt that had rubbed off onto the
jacket, but I was able to scrape that off with a knife. I still
wear it. Land's End is taking those old Squalls out of production,
but the remainders are available at a discount. I bought another
one---you might want to get one for yourself. I don't think there's
anything wrong with the other Squall-type jackets out there, but
I haven't had a near-death experience in any of the other guys'
products, so I can't say for sure.
You'll need gloves, of course. The good news is that reputable
"pleather" gloves from the motocross apparel companies
will keep your hands semi-warm right down to twenty-five degrees
or so. Below that, you need serious winter gloves. When you are
shopping for them, make sure you can roll your hand into a fist
with no constriction whatsoever. If you can't squeeze your hand
tight without problems, you won't be able to hold your bars properly.
Don't buy a set of road biker winter gloves. Road riders don't
grip the bars as hard as you do and need more padding because
more of their weight is put on their hands. The end result is
a glove that effectively puts a quarter-inch extra diameter on
your grips---always a bad thing, or else we'd all still be using
Oakley 3 moto-grips.
Most BMX winter riders do not wear facemasks, but that doesn't
mean you shouldn't. If the temperature is twenty degrees or below,
you will lose heat from your face faster than anywhere else. Get
a facemask and wear it if you're not sure. The good news is that
the funky, Alice In Chains sunglasses you bugged your parents
for in 1993 will also keep the cold wind away from your eyes.
Don't wear metal-framed sunglasses because metal gets very, very
cold.
There's more good news for the average rider when it comes to
hats. You know that sock hat that you've been wearing summer and
fall? You can wear it now, too, and it might actually do you some
good in this instance. Several years ago, BMX mogul-in-progress
Terry Clapp gave me a great black wool cap with the insignia of
a certain SoCal BMX company, and I haven't found anything better
since. Pull your cap down over your ears, even if it isn't fashion
forward.
When you ride in the winter, be very careful to warm up by riding
steadily for a while before attempting anything flashy. It is
normal to feel cold, but when your hands can no longer be properly
warmed by putting them in your pockets for a minute or two, you
are in trouble and should get inside as soon as possible.
One more story before we finish. While at school, I took my Cannondale
on a twenty-five mile winter ride through a local state park.
It was about fifteen degrees Fahrenheit outside, but because I'd
only planned on being out for an hour or so, I didn't dress as
warmlyas I should have. Unfortunately, I made the wrong turn and
didn't get home for four hours. By this time, I was only partially
coherent. I ran a bath using only the cold water spigot. I had
to lower myself into the bath over the course of about ten minutes
because the water (which was all cold water, remember) seemed
burning hot. It took probably another hour and a half of adding
hot water bit by bit until I was recovered. Since you can freeze
to death on a bike as easily as you can while participating in
a Himalayan expedition, be careful. There's nothing wimpy about
going home because you're too cold.
Your BMX bike also needs some winter attention. Your tires will
need extra air, since cold tires have less pressure in them. Clean
off your chain and re-oil it with a very light, non-tenacious
oil. Thick oil will jam your chain and cause it to skip off in
the winter. Metal shrinks in the cold, so make sure everything
on your bike is tightened up. When you bring your bike back inside,
wipe the condensation off the frame so the infamous English Metal
Termites don't rust your frame out from under you.
If reading the above has made you want to move to Florida before
it's too late, don't worry. Not only is it possible to ride hard
in the winter, it's fun to look back and see how much you suffered.
It makes you appreciate summer when it comes. Now, if you'll excuse
me, I've got to catch another flight to Los Angeles. I like their
idea of "cold" a lot better than mine!