Raise your hand if you waited in line, like an idiot, for hours on end, just to see the re-released "Star Wars" movies on their opening nights. Yeah, I did too. Big man 28 Cruiser rider Nick Pearson and I drove all over Ohio and Kentucky to catch "A New Hope" and its two sequels, doing witty things along the way like saying "You don't need to see my identification" to the ticket-taker. Did we have a great time? Of course. Did we learn important lessons about BMX? Funny you should ask.
I think it's safe to say that there are all sorts of BMX metaphors in the "Star Wars" movies. The X-Wing, for example, clearly symbolizes a beat-up 20", while the sleek Imperial Shuttle bears more than a passing resemblance to my PL-24. You can see our very own Darth Vader, John Purse, at most Nationals, while Lando Calrissian has surely found his spiritual twin in Mr. Thumbs-Up himself, Terry Tenette.
It goes without saying, however, that the most important character in these movies, from a racer's perspective, is Admiral Ackbar. What can the young BMX racer learn from closely examining the great Admiral and his performance in "Return of the Jedi"? Let's see.
Always have a comfortable seat. Admiral Ackbar's floating command chair enabled him to keep a close eye on the Imperial fleet during the final attack on the Death Star. In a situation like that, it just doesn't pay to have an uncomfortable chair---it ruins your ability to pay attention. When you go riding, make sure you have a nice, comfy seat. Place your seatpost at a height that will enable you to sit down and pedal without discomfort. You don't necessarily have to ride a padded seat; the Kashimax Aero, if you can find one, is both light and well-shaped. Just make sure you can ride without pain, and you'll be ready to launch your own attack on the competition.
It might be a trap. Naturally, the Admiral was among the first to realize that the Emperor was well-prepared for the Rebel fleet's arrival and had taken steps to ensure its destruction. You should be aware of traps, too. If you are preparing to pass a rider you know to be a pretty smart guy, don't be surprised when he fakes a high line on the turn, or tries to fool you into hitting your brakes before a jump by weaving. Try to anticipate your comp's moves, and don't be fooled by the obvious fakery.
Concentrate all firepower on that Super Star Destroyer. If you're on the gate at a National with a rider you know to be faster than the rest, focus your attention on him. Make passing him your goal. By making the conscious decision to chase the fastest guy, you'll go faster. Worrying about anybody but the best rider in a moto is a sure way to wind up stuck behind some doofus. Like Christian told Cru in "Rad", your head leads your body.
You won't last long against firepower of that magnitude. If I'm a pro racer and I'm racing Todd Lyons, I don't try to outjump him---I try to mess up his jumping. If I'm going up against Leveque, it would be a waste of time to try to beat him over the rhythm. Instead, I'll hit him in the turns, where he is weakest. You won't beat a rider by doing what he does best. Work on his weak spots. If you have a great jumper in your moto and you give him a clear run-up to the big doubles, you're not riding smart. Take your comp's advantages away from them.
Make your squadrons report in. It doesn't cost you a dime to look around you during the race and see what the other riders are doing. Observing your comp as they set up for turns, jumps, and the final straight will give you a chance to ruin their plans. Just don't make the mistake of slacking off when you're looking around. Admiral Ackbar kept a close eye on his enemy---so should you. And last, but not least,
It's okay to be a squid. Admiral Ackbar is, of course, a member of the Mon Calamari race. They're all squids. It doesn't stop them from wearing nice outfits, though, or making it to the top. If you don't feel all that great about your bike, your abilities, or your chick-magnetizing qualities, let it slide and do the best you can. Even a squid can reach the top.
You see? We can all learn from Admiral Ackbar, great guy that he is. So until the next time, keep pushing, and remember... The Force will be with you... always.